I used to write whatever that came to my mind and sometimes my mind wasn't even in the game. I just sat down and started writing. I think that's what I'm gonna do now. And just like then, most of the sentences will start with the letter I. Because blogs were to begin with, the stuff that went on in peoples minds, before it came an outlet for the angry ones and later it was all about pretty girls and funny girls trying to sell stuff, secretly.
Right now I feel a bit weird like most of us. This corona shit is a gigantic wave of weirdness, cabin fever, confusion, uncertainty. In a way it's like being in a vacuum. Going from day to day. Nothing to do. Nothing on the schedule. Most of my friends have taken up walking. Like Forrest Gump. Well he was running, but it was something to do. A way to stop thinking. A way to forget. We like that. Activating the body calms the mind. Reminds us that we are a body too.
Knock out
They say that a lot of thoughts are unconscious. In a way that seems a bit weird. Since when you are unconscious you aren´t really thinking. Being unconscious means knocked out. So a lot of us literally run away from unconscious, knocked out thoughts, and to "run" even further from them we knock ourselves out in a myriad of ways.
Psychologists don´t really recommend unconscious, knocked out thoughts. Clear thoughts are preferred. And they give you therapy to dive down and get your unconscious thoughts up from the bottom of the ocean of your being. Sometimes I feel that this is way to much of a hassle. Is it really going to change that much? Not really. Is it? To dive down for a pile of dirty pain, - and do what with it? Will it vanish when you put it on dry land?
And isn't there a lot more down there? Why bother?
The "should" stuff
Christianity, and a lot of other religions, have this thing about separating mind, body and
emotions. Separate flesh and spirit. Probably to make it all more manageable? Control your lust. Whip it out in the name of love for a perfect structure.
My main religion is writing. Taking things from inside of me, from the place between my ears, behind my eyes and mouth, putting it out with my fingers to understand things better. It makes my life more manageable and structured and yet I don't really practice it like I "should".
There are a lot of things I "should" do. It will be like that forever. And possibly, when I pass away into the wonderful deep sea world of being knocked out and unconscious, I might not even do it like I should have.
Later!
