There is a feeling that most of us are very afraid to face and work with. In fact I believe that this feeling might be the exact feeling that frightens most of us on the deepest kind of level. It is the painful feeling of rejection.
To be rejected by someone or somebody you believe you belong with; a team, a friend, shool or work, someone you love, or someone you want to be loved or admired by. Or someone you trust... it is a deeply distressing feeling for most of us.
Rejection can be shown in may different ways. „ghosting“ is one of them. Blocking. A letter. Being ignored etc. And sometimes people reject each other with infidelity and deception. The feeling of rejection is physical and it can hurt so so terribly that we ignore signals and signs of serious errors like untruthfulness and unreliability in others, in order not having to experience the actual reality of the rejection that this kind of behavior represents.
We often tell our selves lies because we don't want to face the fact that someone is in fact rejecting us by speaking in the language of actions. The things they say and do dont match. We try to "explain" this away in order to avoid the messages spoken by actions, physical language and facial expressions and then we get stuck.
THE DARK SIDE
The darker side of the pain and hurt that follow the feeling of rejection, is that sometimes people can become addicted to it. It might seem strange, but to experience the rush of a feeling, followed by a burst of natural chemicals and hormones, so penetrating and splitting that it overtakes the entire chest can be a drug like no other.
An emotionally infected relationship is often defined by this addiction to a certain kind of a love hurts rush, caused by emotions that set into action neurotransmitter signals that give this niche kind of high. Generally two people, stuck in a crazy limbo where one fears the rejection of the other. Under threat or by signs and symbols. A sick little twist.
I assume that a lot of actions that we take are subconsiosuly driven by the level of satisfaction presented by the award. I belive that we are driven very badly by the addiction to acceptance from others. Vanity if you will. The little red heart and the happy blue like button make us so happy that we are being held down by the measurements we take to avoid being rejeced, or not getting enough likes or attention. It is scary to a degree.
... refused, sent away, not invited, turned down, passed, outlawed, isolated, disapproved of and therefore rejected. Divorced, fired, dispensed...
How bad does it feel?